Conversations with My Mother |
The title pretty much explains itself. |
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Notes(through text) Mom: Check out Phillip Phillips on American Idol. He's cute and I think you'll like his style. Me: ........his name is Phillip Phillips.....? Mom: Yes. Me: Stupid name. Mom: No, CUTE! Me: I have a dentist appointment tomorrow. Mom: Ok. -
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NotesMe: Mom, why the HELL are all your bookmarks gmail?! Mom: I want to save those emails! -
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NotesMom (on phone with old friend): My ex-husband? Oh yeah, he's been traveling a lot now. He's a really good photographer actually. Traveling all over the world, taking photos. ...hm? Oh yeah, she graduated from Harvard. She's got a boyfriend. Doing real well. No... Oh God, please don't ask me what my daughter's studying. Don't ask...oh shoot. I think I heard her laughing in the kitchen. Oh shoot, I think she heard me. -
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NotesMom: Why do you have to have the maintenance guy come? Me: You don't wanna know. Mom: TELL ME. Me: YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW. Mom: WHY ARE YOU TALKING LIKE THAT. TELL ME NOW. Me: FINE. ......we have a mouse. Mom: I don't wanna know. ... Me: He's cute though. Mom: Hide your food, shut your doors. -
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NotesAfter a silence during Thanksgiving dinner... Mom: So I gave a man CPR the other day and he died. Everybody else: ......... My cousin Jeremy: Happy Thanksgiving. -
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Mom: Okay, I'm leaving now. Bye. Me: Okay. Mom: Try to have fun. Whatever. -
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Notes the best advice she's ever given meMom: If two or more people tell you something, you should probably listen to them because for the most part, people aren't retarded. -
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(trying to scare her) Me: Don't you loooooooove my pink highlights? Mom: They aren't real though, are they? Me: MAYBE THEY ARE. WHAT IF THEY WERE?! HM?! Mom: I don't care. I just care about your acne. Plan backfired. -
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NotesMe: I'm probably just going to fly there. Mom: You're going to fly?! Me: Yeah. Like...take a flight? ..............in an airplane? Mom: Ohhhhhh. Okay, that's okay then. -
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Mom: I built your dresser! ALL BY MYSELF. Also, the TV box is to cover the window because the dresser is blocking the blinds.
